Negative people are part of most of our lives in some shape or form. Some of us may only encounter them from a distance or for short periods of time, and others of us will find ourselves spending what may feel like an eternity with these energy draining souls.
An easy way to know whether you have negative people in your life is to assess how you feel after spending time with people. Do you walk away feeling better for the experience and alive, or do you feel like you are in a real downward funk and you’re not entirely sure how you got there. If it’s the latter, chances are you just encountered a negative person. Avoiding negative people altogether is quite a challenge, so having a few practical methods for dealing with this is essential.
1. Topic driven negative people
Is the person in question negative or critical towards just about everything, or is it a particular topic that sets them off? If it appears to be a specific topic, steer clear of discussing it and if conversation starts heading in this direction, change topics until you find one that brings the joy back into the interaction.
2. Situational negative people
Are some friends suddenly negative when encountering a particular situation? Take the time to watch and discover what it is that triggers the negativity and try to change what you are doing if possible. If it is not possible or too late on this occasion, put it in the memory bank as a place or setting that needs to be avoided when with this person.
3. Critical negative people
These people are a little easier to spot. They have an opinion on most topics, people or situations and they are more than happy to share them with you. Chances are they lead small lives and take few risks, fearful of receiving the same criticism or condemnation like they themselves dish out. It can be tempting to try and help negative people living in fear like this and to try to help them get out of their own ways, but often it is unsuccessful and unwanted.
4. Self-Involved negative people
Sadly some people are so lost in themselves that they are blissfully unaware of their own negativity. All they can see is their pain and suffering, or the unfairness of a particular circumstance in their own lives. Unable to pull themselves away from their story and to try and find the light, they unconsciously burden all they meet with tales of their woes and misfortune. Most of us know someone like this and the best thing to do is to try to steer the conversation away from the other person and their story.
An aside to the above, if the situation is critical and you believe the negative person may be in danger of harming themselves or others, intervene. Try to point them in the direction of help and encourage them to talk with someone who has the tools to help them solve their problems or at least make them more manageable.
As quoted by the late and great Jim Rohn, “you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with”. So, if your world is full of negative people, chances are that you are one yourself or on the way to becoming one. Where possible, carefully select who you spend your time with. If you feel your options are all negative people, try listening to podcasts, you tube videos and audio books where you can hang out with great minds from all over the world while cultivating the mindset and attitude that is best for you. Negative people can create a great deal of unnecessary stress in your life so it is in your own best interest to take steps to reduce the impact.
