Have you ever attended a social occasion or business event and felt like everyone around you could see your complete lack of confidence? Truth is, there may have been a few people who noticed your discomfort, but probably not that many.
Want to know a secret? They’re all too busy thinking about themselves and how they’re appearing to other people. They are doing the exact same thing as you!
Here are eight secrets to appearing more confident, even when you feel like a total fraud on the inside.
1 Enter the Room with Purpose
Ever seen a person walk into a party, eyes to the floor and head down. Doesn’t exactly scream confidence does it? If you watch them they will often head straight to the nearest corner or frantically look around to find someone they know? Even though you probably feel like behaving just the same, the secret is to enter the room with your head held high and walk with purpose.
2 Posture
So you’ve made it in to the room. Great work! Now if you are meeting a friend or colleague, pause and slowly look around the room for them. Keep your gaze up at all times. This will disguise some of the fear or awkwardness you may be feeling.
3 Breathe
By now you may very well be feeling a bit anxious. Take a deep breathe in through your nose, much less obvious what you are doing this way, and release. If at any time during the even you start to feel uncomfortable or stressed, repeat as often as you need to.
4 Smile
See, told you these were simple. But, trust me they are really effective. Smile. You know how to do this. Now don’t put on the big fake smile that feels plastic, this will only put you off even more. Just relax the muscles in your face, allow the corners of your lips to naturally turn upwards and get ready to mingle and feel confident.
5 Introduce Your Self First
Many people are shy or feel overwhelmed in social or business settings so don’t beat yourself up about how you are feeling. Go look fear square in the eye and introduce yourself to people first. This takes the pressure of both you and the other person, who may very well also be shy. It can also put you in a position to start the conversation which is a bonus.
6 Eye Contact
Now I’m not saying to stare at people until they feel completely freaked out and uncomfortable. When speaking with others or introducing yourself, make frequent eye contact without staring the entire time. This not only helps you, but it can make the person speaking with you feel more at ease as well.
7 Ask Questions
Most people have a favorite topic to speak about, and more often than not it is themselves. This is a good thing. Make conversations easier by asking questions that allow people to open up and speak about topics they are comfortable wit. Most importantly, enjoy the process of getting to know more about them.
8 Listen
Now for the finale. Most people engage in conversations every day, however it’s rare that other people truly listen to what they are saying. Be the one person that is present and genuinely listening when you are with others. Ask questions or repeat back what you have heard to show that you were really paying attention. This skill alone is pure gold and rare. Most people when conversing are too busy in their own heads thinking of what they are going to respond with to actually be listening.
There is nothing magical about these tricks to appear more confident. You don’t have to be a total extrovert or the life of the party to be engaging and look like you are totally confident. Put these to work the next time you find yourself in this type of setting and let me know how they work for you.
